Dating after the death of your wife
According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, a measure of the stressfulness of major life events, the death of a spouse is the most stressful and traumatic experience that a person can endure.
After going through the grieving process and coping with the loss of a life partner, many widows and widowers experience intense loneliness.
My 42-year-old husband, Frank, had been dead for a month, but it still said "Married." Then, in a surreal, only-in-the-21st-century moment, I changed it to "Widowed." I hesitated, but I had to do it: No word but .
I was that, too, but more drastic and sadder than the word usually suggests.
These positive acts of giving back will have a lasting impact on the lives of others while helping you become involved and meet new people.
Counseling other grieving widows and widowers can also help you cope with your own loneliness.
A man I know is dating after six months of his wife’s passing. I’ve asked many women what they think and (what) they say is, ‘It’s different for everyone.’ I say he could have waited a year out of respect for his deceased wife.” The women who Arlene asked are correct: The length of time to wait to date again is different for everyone. If that were the case, he had already shown great respect for her.Up to that point, my incessant talk about my late husband would have made any man run in the opposite direction.” What happens if someone is still grieving and he or she meets someone they think would be a great partner who becomes interested in them? Out of respect for the new person, he should tell her he’s still grieving but feels they could become a loving couple, and, if she would be patient with him, it could work out.Then, as they go forward, they can openly and honestly discuss how things are progressing. Somewhat along that line, I had a friend whose mother saw a man she knew. My friend said, “Mom questioned me whether it was too soon after his wife had died for her to ask him out for coffee. Six months later, they were married.” A friend, Gale, told me years ago: “The man in my life had already done his grieving before his wife died, and no one has the right to dictate what that mourning period should be or for how long.Some hope that separation from their spouses might be temporary; mine could be nothing but permanent.So, at age 39, after seven years of marriage, I was no longer married; I was a widow.