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And a lot of shame, usually.”“They might go on and on about how great they are,” Balestrieri says, “or how much this person likes them, or that person likes them, or they got accepted into a certain organization.They’re really aligning themselves with anything that further capitulates their fantasies around fame, or importance, or superiority, or just being great.”. Since they feel they’re special, only other special people can understand them.As part of their quest for attention, however, they can push against personal boundaries, which can have dramatic effects.For example, a narcissist might compel their partner to make sacrifices or major commitments early in a relationship.
So you’re useless to me.'”, although they’re not necessarily sociopaths (people largely incapable of expressing empathy).Perhaps that shouldn’t be surprising; according to one scientific review,“I think, a lot of times, people consider narcissism to include a lot of grandiosity, and a lack of shame or remorse or empathy, and all of those are certain key components of narcissism,” says Kate Balestrieri, Psy D, a licensed psychologist and co-founder of In other words, while we might think of narcissists as self-centered jerks, they’re operating as a result of deep-seated insecurities.Those insecurities often show up in the narcissist’s social behaviors.“They’re very quick to align themselves with organizations [or] people that would be high in status—the best of the best,” Balestrieri says. …If my ego is fragile, I need a lot of other opinions to bolster my sense of self, so underneath all of that grandiosity is a pretty low and fractured sense of self-worth.“I learned, years later, that my ex would go behind my back and trash talk me—all while making himself look good. They’re master manipulators, and they feel a deep sense of entitlement.Rules don’t apply to them, because they’re just so superior to the rest of us.”Obviously, narcissistic tendencies make relationships difficult.